he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
