i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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