someone get that fucking seahorse.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
