Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
