plz talk dirty to me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
