Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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