Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
