yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
