grandma shit on top of the toilet
i can't believe i had my finger in that
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
