I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
