She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
