Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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