I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
