after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
