i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
