All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's Friday. Sex?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize