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dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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