There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
