wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
