why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize