He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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