Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
