i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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