Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
