her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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