my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
