I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
