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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

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• (760): View more from California

  If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"

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• (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Why was I lying under a truck last night?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it

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