I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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