we have pet lesbian snakes
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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