I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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