I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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