Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
