Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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