this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
