C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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