i think my tv is drunk
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ugly people sure do ruin things
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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