it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
