Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
