i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
