some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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