She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I want is dick and wine.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
