I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cut my penus on the lid.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
