you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
