I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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