tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
