I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
