All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize