I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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