Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
