We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
