i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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