i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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