Christians are straight up FREAKS
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize