We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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